Monday, September 29, 2014

My Journey & More of My Autumn Home

Once upon a time I blogged nearly every single day, was on top of my custom order pieces, had major decorating plans and commented on all my fave blogs. Remember that girl? Well. She totally lost her way this summer and got distracted by life, which has been a bit sad and seriously awesome all rolled into one.
 
If you've read Number Fifty-Three for any length of time then you know I'm not big on sharing personal info. I have really nothing against it and love blogs that do. The thing that nobody really knew was that for, like years, I have been pretty miserable and sad. And that made it hard to share.




I was in a relationship, which people from the outside thought was great, but in reality was unhealthy, and toxic and stripped me away of my real personality and my fun and spontaneous nature.


 
And, I'm seriously not placing the blame. We were both majorly at fault here. This summer though, something clicked and I was truly done. And I filed for divorce. And got my old self back. And I am happy. Like truly happy.
 

 
 
I feel free and able to be me. Finally. My boys are in a better place. The stress in our home is nearly gone. And this is coming from a parent of two kids with anxiety disorders. It's remarkable.


 
 
But, there is more to the story. Ready for this? There was this one person who was always the one. Like words cannot describe the connection and bond that we had (and still have). Its insane and wicked and awesome and amazing.


 
Like two plus decades ago, he and I made a massive teenage mistake and broke up. And not one person in this world knew how that killed me. It literally just ended because of distance. He was in the Army, way too far away, and I was still here in Massachusetts in school. And we never spoke once. And we never stopped thinking about each other. And we never stopped loving each other. But, we tried to move on with our lives.

 
 
You guys. I lived two decades not knowing if this guy was alive or dead. Do you know what that feels like?


 
This story has an incredible ending. We reconnected. Every feeling that we ever had was there and magnified by a million. And I finally feel complete and safe and whole again.


 
 
Seriously. Never give up on your dreams...
 
...And as far as the blog and my business, I'm getting myself back in the game and finding my passion again, so stay tuned.

P.S. Did you miss the first part of my Autumn Home Tour? If so you can check it our here along with the entire listing of participants in the Blogger Stylin' Home Tour Series.






 

22 comments:

  1. WOW. talk about happy endings. :) XOXO. thanks for sharing- you have to do what is best for you and your boys and i am so glad you have found happiness.

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  2. I am so glad to know that you are happy again.
    and....I love your beautiful house. :)

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  3. I'm happy for you... all the best :)

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  4. Awwww, your story just melts my heart! I am glad you have relieved yourself of that toxic relationship. As one who has truly been there I can tell you that I know that was a big step in self-discovery and then the long lost love...wow! I love that your in love with the one you were meant to be with. Live, Love and Be Happy!

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  5. I love what you have done for your Fall/Halloween decor. But my comment is to applaud you on your honesty and being brave enough to share your journey into becoming complete, safe and whole. I also share between my posts of weaved in stories, photo essays and poetry my journey of mourning the loss of my son. When I started blogging last Dec. I wanted to offer a blog of substance and through it in my own way I feel my heart healing.

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  6. Glad to hear you had your happy ending. All stories should end like this. It was great to get a little glimpse into your more personal life Angela!!

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  7. I'm so happy your story has a happy ending!

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  8. Thanks for sharing! I know it was difficult, but glad there was a happy ending for you and the boys!

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  9. Yay! So happy for you! I could feel your excitement and happiness in this post! Thank you for sharing! Cannot WAIT to see what you have in store!

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  10. Congratulations!!!! I love a happy ending and this is fabulous. Good for you for going for it.

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  11. That is some heart-warming, page-turning, film-worthy stuff right there Angela! I am so happy for you!

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  12. I know it was super hard to share your story but I'm so happy it has a happy ending! Best wishes to you and yours, your blog, and your business :)

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  13. I'm so so happy for you and you know I can relate to you in so many ways. I'm glad you feel like yourself again. And I wish you the best of luck.

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  14. I'm so happy for you!!! Glad everything has turned out for you and especially your son's and oh, Figgy!

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  15. so happy for you and glad to hear you're doing well! And your house is lovely as always, of course :)

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  16. Your home looks amazing as always Angela and I am SOOOOOOO happy you got your happy ending!!

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  17. Angela what a magnificent story!!! I LOVE, love, it wins every time. Good for you getting a fresh start and a chance at happiness. Love your fall décor too. Be happy girl.

    Cindy

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  18. Angela - congrats on finding love again! Living in a life that doesn't truly "fit you" is no way to live. So glad you had the courage to free yourself and move on.

    Cheryl @ The Creative Me and My McG

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  19. That's an amazing story, Angela. Thank you for sharing with us. I wish you and your boys nothing but the best.

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  21. I know what it feels like to lose yourself...how wonderful that your back being you again! Congrats on the new old relationship too. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

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  22. Oh Angela, how amazing is that! First of all, I hope you give yourself credit for stepping back and making some hard decisions and big changes in your life. That was a brave thing to do. I'm so glad that you've found happiness again and that your boys are doing well too. I wish you all the very best. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of a wonderful new chapter of your life!

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Thank you so much for stopping by Number Fifty-Three! I look forward to your comments.